Growing up, I never felt like I truly belonged. Even as early as six or seven, I was quiet and withdrawn. I didn’t have many friends. I was the tall kid with walls built sky-high—walls shaped by mistrust and pain I didn’t know how to talk about. I faced mistreatment from people close to me, including a family member and someone in our neighborhood. My older brother, who carried his own pain, often lashed out at me, both physically and emotionally. I didn’t know what feeling truly safe or loved without strings attached meant. I became a chameleon, changing myself to fit in, to get by. But no matter how hard I tried, I felt invisible. Alone. Unworthy. Unloved.
Home wasn’t a place of peace. My dad battled alcoholism and often felt emotionally distant. He and my mom had a strained relationship, and she wrestled with depression and prescription pill dependency. My grandparents stepped in as much as possible but could only do so much. My parents, especially my mom, tried to hold it all together, often focusing their energy on molding me into a standout basketball player. Love sometimes felt conditional, based more on my performance than on who I was. There was no unconditional love in our house, only expectations.
When I was just 8 years old, I took my first drink—alcohol I found at my grandparents’ house. It was a small act with massive consequences. That drink planted the seed of addiction that would grow for over three decades.
Throughout my childhood, the trauma didn’t stop. Abuse from my cousin, babysitter, and even a neighbor piled onto the damage already done. We moved across town just so I could play basketball at a different high school. I lost what few friends I had and was resented by others for moving.
At first, my addiction seemed manageable. It was just partying, or so I thought. But eventually, it led to real consequences— an OUI, credit card fraud, and retail theft. The loneliness only grew deeper.
Addiction followed me into adulthood and consumed me for 32 years. Twenty of those years were spent hooked on pain pills, heroin, and meth.
Since joining the program,
“God has given me a new identity. I’m no longer the lost, broken man I used to be— I am a new creation in Christ”
I was desperate to numb the pain and silence the brokenness inside me. I tried to fill the void with drugs, alcohol, women, and money. I never had a plan—just survival. Just the next high.
I racked up four drug felonies. I spent time in jail. I was on probation for seven years. My addiction cost me everything: my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my peace of mind. I wasn’t the father I should’ve been. I chose substances and chaos over my two sons. I overdosed four times. I should be dead. By the grace of God, I’m not.
I hurt so many people. I left destruction everywhere I went—like a tornado ripping through the lives of the people I loved. My relationships were selfish. I took what I wanted and left pain in my wake. I was lost, angry, and completely hopeless.
After years of bouncing through ten different treatment centers across Wisconsin and Florida—30-day programs, a few three-month ones—I never stayed sober. I always went back. Nothing changed. I was still empty.
Then something did change. I moved to Green Bay for sober living because there weren’t many options left in Sheboygan. While there, I met a woman who had graduated from Adult & Teen Challenge in Milwaukee. She connected me to someone affiliated with ATCNEW, and I applied. I didn’t know it then, but that decision would save my life.
Since entering Adult & Teen Challenge Northeastern Wisconsin, everything is different. God has given me a new identity. I’m no longer the lost, broken man I used to be—I am a new creation in Christ. I have joy and peace I’ve never known. I’m no longer running.
I’m no longer pretending. I know who I am— and more importantly, whose I am. Jesus is rebuilding what I thought was beyond repair.
My youngest son told me he loves me. I hadn’t heard those words in over a decade. That’s Jesus. That’s redemption.
Today, I serve as a client driver at ATCNEW. I’m a servant leader and an ambassador for Christ. The same man who once brought destruction now brings hope and testimony. And I’m just getting started.
I hope to intern at ATCNEW and continue to serve the Lord here. I want to share my story with schools and churches, especially with young people. I know what it’s like to feel alone and broken. I’ve been a state finalist in basketball, and I played Division 1 Ball at UW-Milwaukee to connect with kids chasing identity in sports, status, or acceptance. I want to show them there’s a better way. A truer identity. A Savior who sees them, loves them, and heals them. Whatever God has planned for me, I’m all in. I’ll keep building up the body of Christ, walking in obedience, and giving back what was freely given to me.
All glory to God. Thank you, Jesus, for saving me.