I grew up in a Christian home with my mom and dad. Nine years later, my younger brother Michael was born. My father had been married before, so I also had an older brother, Corey, six years older than me, and a sister, Christine, nine years older. Summers were special because my grandmother from California would stay with us. I was raised by hardworking, middle-class parents who instilled in me the importance of a strong work ethic.
Growing up, my relationship with my dad was often strained and full of arguments. Despite this, our home was stable. My parents weren’t substance users, though they’d have the occasional wine or mixed drink at a restaurant or holiday gathering. I had a small group of close friends, and we were like little explorers running around the Duck Creek area. Family vacations were regular, and I spent much time up north at my grandparents’ place, where my grandfather taught me how to hunt and fish. I had a lot of freedom and was always around older relatives who drank around the campfire, but I never saw conflict in those moments. They were retired, peaceful, and always happy to see me.
When I was 16, we moved, and I had to change schools. It was a tough adjustment. By the time I was 17, I started drinking alcohol. But things took a darker turn when I was 25. My first love, who didn’t drink or use drugs, tragically committed suicide. That year, I was introduced to cocaine, and my spiral into addiction deepened.
Less than a year after my first love’s suicide, I started dating my ex-wife. I was trying to get clean and sober on my own, but I kept struggling and failing.
Since joining the program,
“The stress that used to suffocate me has lifted I’m no longer depressed or hopeless.”
During those years, I felt lost, hopeless, and overwhelmed by depression and suicidal thoughts. I tried to get sober twice, going through treatment, but each time I relapsed after about a year. I didn’t know how to handle the growing strain in my marriage. We rarely talked about our problems or sought help together. We had two kids who were the joy of our lives, but I missed so many important moments—either because of my mental health struggles, using drugs, or the overwhelming shame and guilt I carried. Even when I was sober, the arguments and accusations in my marriage didn’t stop. I selfishly believed that everything else would fall into place if I changed for my family. But when it didn’t, I grew more bitter. Denial kept me trapped, and my lack of faith in God kept me sick.
My turning point came after my fifth OWI when I found myself in jail. That’s when I was introduced to Adult & Teen Challenge Northeastern Wisconsin. I had hit rock bottom, feeling utterly hopeless and unable to go on alone. My life was filled with divorce, loneliness, depression, separation anxiety, and losses, including the deaths of old friends and colleagues in recovery.
At Adult & Teen Challenge Northeastern Wisconsin, I began to find hope again. My goals were simple but profound: I didn’t want to go to prison, and I wanted to rebuild my life with God at the center. I longed to be valued by my community, to help others struggling like I was, and to be a better father to my kids. I wanted to raise them in a positive, faith-filled environment and teach them about God and hope. I even began to dream of working in a church or a recovery center, using my experience to help others overcome addiction.
Since joining the program, I’ve come to know God as my Lord and Savior. I’ve been able to confront the trauma, guilt, and shame of my past. The stress that used to suffocate me has lifted. I’m no longer depressed or hopeless. While every day isn’t perfect, I have far more good days than bad. I’ve learned so much about myself, and I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time.